I know I’ve written about the importance of being grateful before. As I’ve recently been studying the human brain and the words, thoughts, and habits that keep it healthy and happy, anyone who reads my column has seen the impact being grateful has as well. So, to anyone thinking, “The horse is dead. Quit beating it,” forgive me.

It’s just that I’ve only recently discovered how we tend to overlook the things for which we should consciously be thankful, even while we are being consciously thankful. One of the suggestions I’ve read for a person to maintain a positive frame of mind, is to write down how many good things there are in and about their life. This is something I’ve done regularly since.

But changing circumstances of my life have caused me to reread and rethink these lists. I wrote things including, but not limited to: friends and family who love me, health, food and a roof over my head, etc. But I don’t recall ever seriously considering the weight of my good fortune.

“Friends and family who love me” sounds so cliché to those of us who have it. But imagine being at your darkest hour and having no one to call. Think of losing your home and having nowhere to go. It happens to somebody, somewhere everyday. And it’s not just the events in a person’s life that may change the course of it.

It’s the little things we may not even consider, but should.

I had a friend since high school, one of the dearest of my life, who moved to China to teach debate at a Harvard annex there. While we had seen each other through the “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune” (thank you, Mr. Shakespeare for always being there when I need you), that’s not what I miss or think about when I most keenly feel his absence. It’s the regular communication: our ongoing trivia competitions in which, for example, we would be talking about Henry VII and one of us would say, “Name his wives.” Or the times one of us would slip a movie line into a conversation and the other would name the actor and the movie. Sometimes we would talk entirely in rhyme and whoever faltered first lost.

Clearly, we are nerds. But we are no longer nerds together.

And no, my husband was not jealous of this relationship. He was grateful for it because, as he put it, “I would rather eat dirt than talk about that stuff.” Not wishing to torment my husband, those conversations just don’t take place anymore. And it never occurred to me to be thankful for someone who actually enjoyed them as much as I. Because you can’t just swing a dead cat and hit another such individual. Not that swinging dead cats is a hobby of mine, or anything I could ever imagine having a reason to do.

Now, I don’t just say I am grateful for a family who loves me, but that I have a hard-working husband who puts his family’s needs before his own, with whom I share core values and have lively debates; even if he can’t name more than one or two of old Henry’s wives. My sisters are not merely people with whom I share memories and parents. They are friends. And we may disagree among ourselves, but we will defend one another to the death against outsiders. We also have the best time at our Crisan girl lunches.

Health is a small word so many people take for granted. But the expression, “If you haven’t got your health, you haven’t got anything,” while trite and overused, is true. And I will not walk my dogs, climb another rock or dance another step without being as grateful as I can.

And we don’t just have food and a roof. Dinner is the highlight of most of my days and no small amount of time is spent in its planning and preparation. Sometimes I make two meals so everyone can have what he or she prefers. People tell me I’m crazy. But I don’t care.

Our house is filled with furniture we have picked out together, or that I have bought used and refurbished, pictures of the kids from infancy until last year, my father’s sled is by the fireplace, and my husband’s boyhood desk is in the living room. We don’t just have a roof. We have a home filled with artifacts from generations of love.

I think, for those of us who do journal or write down that which we are thankful for, it shouldn’t just be a list. It should be an outline with detailed points supporting the reasons. The greater the investment, the greater the return. Just the warm fuzzies from writing this column should last all day.