A loved one told me recently that I “can bring happy into the most difficult situations.” That’s not strictly true because I have “those days” just like anyone else. But I totally believe what I told her, which is all I have to do is find the joy that God makes available every day, even through the stress of the holidays. And you and I can do it without adding Prozac to the baste for our turkey or ham. 

As I thought about that conversation, I realized I really am “happy” most of the time. And I’m going to share how I do it by making a list of tactics I use to make that a reality in my life. I’ve found when I employ some simple tools, I’m much more likely to find serenity, peace, joy and yes, even happiness. When I don’t…well, you know, right? I’m as unhappy and miserable as a person can be.

I’m going to share those tactics in the weeks leading up to Christmas, covering a few tools each week that I use. I guarantee if you try these tactics, you are much more likely to have a “Happy Holiday.”

Tactic One: Recognize that each day is a gift.

I remind myself this day is a gift that starts with the rising of the sun and has an expiration date. I can never re-live these 24 hours no matter how much I might someday wish I could do it over and make different choices. If I have a limited number of days to live (and I do), I’m not willing to waste even one of them being totally miserable.

Every morning when that sun comes up, I remind myself that “This is the day that the Lord has made…” (Psalm 118:2) and that the days I have “under the sun” are a gift from God. (Eccl 5:18) Whether I unwrap that gift and look for the beauty of it or choose to waste it is up to me.

Some days, I let circumstances steal my joy. But if I’m honest, I have to admit that I let it happen. Because God’s plan for my life is that I would not only have life, but that I would have it more abundantly. (John 10:10)

Tactic Two: Let go of the past.

Do you remember the old “bubble lights” for Christmas trees that used to be so popular a long time ago? My husband Harry remembered those from his childhood, so he asked me to look for some for our new Christmas tree, and I did. Then both of us about had a heart attack when we saw the price!

There’s nothing wrong with remembering the good things from the past. Those sweet memories are a wonderful heritage we can pass on to our own kids. There’s not really anything inherently wrong with the bad memories either. They can keep us from making the same mistakes our parents made or even keep us from repeating the same mistakes we’ve made ourselves.

However, it can become a problem when the past begins to intrude on the present. There are a couple of ways it can do that. The first is the bad memories. If we’re not careful, they will haunt us and steal the joy that we could have today.

The other way memories can steal today’s joy is when we idealize the past so much that our today can’t possibly compare. I’m not saying your today (or mine) is totally wonderful. You might be walking a hard path. The two-year anniversary of my son Buddy’s death is in December, so I get it. But that loss is only part of my life; it’s not the whole.

We can stubbornly hold on to those memories, whether good or bad, giving them value they don’t deserve. But, like those bubble lights, the cost might be more than we’re willing to pay. Because if you and I let the past intrude on our today, it will steal our joy in today.

Be sure to check back next week for some more tactics you can use to take the stress out of the holidays.