I don’t make New Year’s resolutions

Published 1:25 pm Wednesday, January 3, 2018

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions.

Hey! Wait a minute. Doesn’t almost everyone make New Year’s resolutions? You’re right. Most people resolve to start or quit or moderate something, starting with the first day of the new year. Some even write those things down at the end of the year as they look forward to a healthier and happier year ahead.

Weight loss programs like Weight Watchers and gym memberships expect the largest number of new members in January. They even plan for it. However, by March or April, most of those new members have disappeared.

How many years have you made resolutions for the new year? And how long did they last? If you’re like me, you’ve managed to forget or forsake those resolutions by the first day of February. The problem with those resolutions is that they often anticipate doing difficult things (like quitting smoking, losing weight, walking 30 minutes a day) and doing them perfectly and with minimal effort. But making changes isn’t an easy process. When there’s one slip-up, that’s the end of our “resolution,” and we’re right back where we started from.

That’s why I don’t make any “New Year’s Resolutions.” Instead, I set goals for the coming year in every area of my life: physical, spiritual, intellectual, creative, and financial. And I make those goals reasonable. I’m not promising never to eat a piece of almond pound cake. Instead, I’m setting a goal to eat healthier. My husband sets his own goals and, where our goals are the same, we work them together. If one needs the other’s help to work toward a goal, we’re there to help and encourage.

Looking at my successes and failures from last year and doing it objectively helps me to set goals. I learn from last year’s failures without being overwhelmed by guilt because I don’t live there anymore. And setting reasonable goals for this year allows me to strive for excellence rather than perfection. It challenges me to plan for the future without getting trapped in “Destination Addiction,” that place I need to reach in order to feel successful.

My goals for this year include working toward completion of two books I’ve started. One is a follow-up to So You Love a Prodigal, and the working title is What Do You Mean I Need Recovery? The other is a book of poems titled You Can’t Go Home Again. Will I finish them? Probably. But it’s a goal, which means progress rather than completion equals success. I’ll track my progress on this and all my other goals, but I won’t quit if I don’t do it perfectly. 

So, what about you? Are you ready to set some goals for yourself? If you are, get yourself a piece of paper and start writing them down. And remember…you don’t have to do anything perfectly. Throw out the resolutions and set goals instead. The goals you set are not only more likely to end with success, but you’ll also feel successful as you see yourself making progress on them. And, chances are, living in the present will help you to have a “Happy New Year.”