Liberals have a very unique way of dealing with those annoying little things called facts.  One of their favorite ways to dispatch facts from any conversation is to find a learned person identified as a subject matter expert.  The subject about which this learned person has expertise is not relevant, only that the expert can be defined as the foremost authority of something.  He might be the foremost expert on the DNA of Martian fireflies.  

Now I have never seen a Martian firefly.  I don’t know anyone that has seen or held one.     I don’t even believe that Mars has fireflies but, as a conservative, I could not possibly be a Martian firefly expert.  Liberals know that a true conservative would never study a Martian firefly, much less dissect a rare, obviously endangered creature just to determine if it was male or female.  No true conservative would give anyone a dime to conduct such a study.

Liberals believe that they, and only they, have been blessed with moral authority and clairvoyance to look beyond the facts to determine what they believe to be the truth.  Only a liberal can understand the impact of preserving the Martian firefly studies.  Liberals have an encyclopedia of other humanitarian initiatives such as cell phones for the unemployed.  High on their list is equal everything.  Equal under the law at birth is extended to everyone regardless of life style choice, drugs or criminal behavior.    Liberals believe that no one is responsible for their own behavior or life style choices.  If a person decides to go to jail rather than school, it is a counselor’s fault, their parents’ fault, or an environmental problem.  No individual that benefited from life in these United States could possibly end up in such a condition on their own.  Someone failed them.

Now that you been introduced to the belief system of liberals, it is helpful to understand they believe only liberals can see and identify social problems.  Only liberals possess the privilege and right to define morality.  This one is tricky because they do not believe in one morality but in situational morality.  It should be understood that anything a conservative does is automatically immoral.  Now it might not appear that way at first, but you will need to look at the reasons behind the apparently moral behavior.  If a conservative young man tenderly kisses his mother goodnight, it is not an expression of love but an attempt to have her leave the entire family estate to him.  When you consider the behavior of a conservative you must always discover the motive.  Conservatives are so devious.

Liberals believe that it is backward and unenlightened to seek profits, Christian religion, or conventional family structures.  Liberals view as backward women that want to raise their children, men that want to support their family, people that accurately quote the constitution or Bible.  They must be, only a backward person would insist on forcing morality.  Conservatives don’t believe in fun.  Did you know that some conservatives send their children to religious schools?  Some radical conservatives own guns and try to educate their own children at home. Liberals can rant for hours about almost anything.  Logic will never enter their conversation.  Only liberals can live a life without expressing any form of hate.  They have a lexicon of names, categories, and labels that can be used, but only by liberals, to define anyone.   These sanctioned names do not constitute hate speech when used by a liberal.  Similar statements by a conservative must be hate speech.

If you want to see a liberal in a complete mental breakdown, mention the name of God or Jesus, and the U.S. Constitution in the same sentence.  Stand back, things will get very lively as they go into the mental equivalent of a nuclear meltdown.   Conservatives understand that the U.S. Constitution is intended to protect Americans and their religion from the government.  It is not just government we should fear, it is a liberal government.   Liberal government is more dangerous than an attack from any foreign country.   Liberals, in the name of common good, desire to destroy the values that make our country the envy of the world, our personal freedoms.